3 things that Hurts 1. We Hurt Physically 2. We Hurt Emotionally 3. We Hurt Relationally
6 'Don't's in handling with Hurts 1. Don't ignore the hurts - Hurts get worse if not treated. - Deal with it.
2. Don't run away from Hurts - Runnning away will never solve the problem - Running away is like sitting a roller coaster * after e whole ride, u realise u will still stop at where u started
3. Don't hide the Hurts - When u learn to express urself, half the battle is won - possession never compensate for pain * no use using what u have to show that u r alright when u r not
4. Don't worry about the Hurt - worrying changes nothing - worry gets us nowhere, why not spend time to work on it
5. Don't resent the Hurt - resentment clouds the mind
6. Don't give up - wait!
*wanted so much to answer.. but.. im jus not ready fer it. hahas.. next time barhs.*
strawberry(: signed off at 10:03 PM
oZPOP Concert Sun Rawks!! think around 60% of the crowd is her fans barhs. Stella rawks too! made a new friend: Peggy. She's so pretty. Veron's classmate. Over 15,000 people attended, i believe. Im so angry with a bunch of late comers. They think we r invisible. If not fer Sun, i would hav shouted at them ''if everyone can cut anyhow, no one would come early.'' so so so angry. Stand in front of us. One head taller, n even asked a stupid question '' can u see? '' i wanted to reply ''can u use ur brains?'' So hot n warm! Best thing, that guy got B.O!!! stinks manx. The organisers are smart. They let all the not very popular singers do their show first. While all the popular singers at the back, so people will stay. hahas.. think Chen Si Han or rather Stella is the first one to let the whole crowd go crazy! go high! But i dunch like Chen Si Han!! He so action, sing so long, took his own sweet time to do things.. N i think bacuase of that guy B.O, plus mi leg super tired, n super warm, i felt horrible. hahas. N before i could move out of the stupid crowd, i actually FAINTED!! hahas. the feeling is so shiok! like u sleeping n dreaming about the concert. but it was only a few seconds ahhas. When i fainted, i could still hear, mind not totally blackout yet. hahas.. the whole event dunch hav first aid people lorhx. Den someone gave us a pack of sweet fer me to chew. Dunch noe who's tt. Den we move out to the less crowded place. N we went mad over there, dance like siao people, do all sorts of stupid things. ahahhahs. so fun. better den standing in front, but carnt move. Special thanks to: Ziying, Peggy, Veron, Sean, Jackie, Xinyi, Ade, Zhenghao, Allan.. they all treated me like princess.. ahhas.. sit around me faning me.. Ziying fer msging me.. hees..
strawberry(: signed off at 9:51 PM
Thursday, August 26, 2004
Got this cold reply from him. n i started wondering why. *did i pissed him or sth?* this qns came into my mind. couldn't find a single soul to company me in the afternoon. was really distracted after tt message.. thought he's jus no in the mood. well.. im wrong. im the source of his misery. im the source of his hurts. why am i such a failure. i read his blog. and jus, he told me his misery, his sufferings. i realised. im wrong. i took the wrong step. i caused him to suffer in silence for so long. all this while, i dint realised. i thought i could be his good friend. im wrong. i neglected him. or maybe alot other people without knowing. *why does tears roll down when i received those messages?* maybe im jus plain guilty about it. i should. i should. wad can i do to make him forget about tt? make him live a new life without the lousy me in any part of his life.... he would be happier. God please help him gt over it. he shouldn't have spent any effort on me. he's so nice, n me? jus another lousy character person. i gave him hope, i smashed it fer him. what's exactly is wrong with me? i so much wanted to be there to comfort him. so much.. im a source of misery to everyone? maybe. . ahaahahs... stay away from me. . i dunch wanna hurt anyone..
strawberry(: signed off at 5:21 PM
choir concert has finally ended. And these two weeks i'll be really free in the afternoon. A break i really deserve barhs. im stucked in a world of my own these days which i wonder why. thinking too much about things. Ziying really has to tolerate me. all moi complains. all my blurness. my deafness. my perhaps even blindness. hahs.. Concert really enjoyed it. hahas.. out of wad i thought. well well.. WeiSheng n Shaun came. Nanu was really great. Ms Choo rawkx. well well.. she jus told us maybe she would wan bring us fer exchange programme.. hope so! hope it will turn out to b true! think would be fun barhs... oh yah. Jaslyn rawks too. Church Pastor Sun ish back! wohoox! *3 cheers fer her* her bleeding stopped. goodiex! n gonna support her on sat.
strawberry(: signed off at 4:57 PM
Monday, August 16, 2004
todae choir again. quite sian! i did something really bad. haahhas... dint even feel guilty about it, burt, in fact im quite happy about it. hahas.. anyways, dunch think too much peeps. it's nort tt i did it 2 someone or wad. i jus did it fer my sake~ lolx.
todae super pissed off with john, ruzhaidi, hakkim... im nort toking to dem anymore. ziying rawks moi world. Ms Choo rawks too.. aahahhahhas..
strawberry(: signed off at 8:46 PM
Saturday, August 14, 2004
okiex. since wei sheng said this blog ish so stagnant. i shall update. no larhx, ish actually im too tired to update fer the past few days. everyday so late reach home. so reach home jiu sleep sleep sleep lorhx. wowx. come to realise that ish jus 7 days away from moi choir concert. so excited. n anyways, so many songs nort really good at them yet! oh no oh no! bettta pull up our sock lerx. ahhhas.. AIR AIR AIR!!!! i totally lost in this manx. help help help barhx! ok, i've brought home every single score n im gonna practise them!!
today performance at opp sch tt side. nort bad larhx. quite fun. hahas.. Ms Choo fun sia. oh! Mrs Lee's make up!!!!!!!!! oh no. it's so so so so.. thick! thank God she hab to go off earlier. i get to do it myself. with me own make up stuff.... hahas.. then think pp dunch understand wad we singing.
strawberry(: signed off at 10:54 PM
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
i've been good todae! ha! i dint shout at the choir. Even Kathy said i wasn't giving buay song attitude lorhx! hmms.. felt tt i was good todae too! Ms Choo was nice to ask if i can lead today. im really 'high' today. so i agreed! heh heh heh! Poor Kathy hab to stand moi siao-ness during history. Burt we haben gort back out test paper. *hope it's lost* ahhaahhas. Think Ziying oso poor thing. hahahas.. cos she's also wib me. n im so high! hahahs. Though choir today oso noisy larh, burt den, i jus dint say anithing, n waited to them to shut up demselves. save energy! he he he! oh, Shuan is so so so... erh.. furniex. made me laugh like siao. lub Ziying, Kathy... oh ya, how can i forget Ms Choo... hahahhas
inside info! Ms Choo shall b a super nice lady from now onwards. She said she has decided to up on anger. But she needs time to cultivate tt larhx. Let's give her time.. hahahahs. oh, less wrinkles fer her! hahahahas
strawberry(: signed off at 9:46 PM
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
was reminded about mi pri sch.. hahas.. come to think of it. haven say anithing abt me pri sch fer very long lerx. . miss those days. p6 days r e best manx.. miss u guys much much. pei rong- e always smart n naughty one. my best partner to bully mrs choy! hahas.. yingwen- my best buddy ever! dunch need to hide anything from her derx.. kai lee- our first female head prefect! ahhaas.. someone who's really trustworthy.. yuan zheng- go home partner! whoever's on MC, the other will send homework to the doorstep, who ask us stay so near each other! hahas.. alvin, fann ming, leech, ti shone, esmond etc..- the ones who really liven up the class.. bus auntie- moi ga ma!! sho's so nice! eugenia- me favourite junior! grace&wanjing- me cutest junior went back to zps on friday. spent so much time looking fer mrs choy. dunch noe where she went. walk so fast. hahas.. saw ms tan (married lerx!!) saw mr liew(always teasing me!) saw alot of peeps.. oni pr, me, alvin, fm, leech n milton went back. the rest carnt make it, cos their sch ended late. ahhas.. mrs choy rocks rocks rocks! hahahs miss those days.. jus wish i can go back to den..
strawberry(: signed off at 11:57 AM
Saturday, August 07, 2004
after the concert, wo bu gan lerx. dunch expect me to guide this bunch of choir. maybe one day i will sink into depression. ahahahs.. how sadistic rite? im quite prepared fer tt. lolx. or maybe heart prob, high blood pressure? haix.. maybe i may jus jummp down a building. eat over dose de sleeping pills. or wad? shall go research some more ways of ending life huh? mus be prepared fer the worst marhx. jus seems like im not a christian anymore. how can a christian be such sadistic? how can it be? haix.. *repent* lolx. ahhhahhhas. without ms choo, without ziying, without kathy, without lester i would hav been into a world of my own. maybe not in this world already. hahahs.
strawberry(: signed off at 5:40 PM
once again there's choir todae! the whole sch ish like so dead quiet. not other souls in the early morning except us, the choir peeps. well, cant blame thou, our concert is in 2 weeks time. i somehow still think tt there r alot of people tt dunch even care. no scores during prac, no paying attention. teacher here den guai guai der. i admit larh, today super buay song. not feeling good. head spinning since morning. morning dint wanna go de lorh, i carnt even balance myself to walk straight in the morning when i wake up lorh. buddden i dunch wan waste money to see doctor lorhx. toopid. that stupid le ying still in the dark, dunch know tt we dunch like her. kept on wanting to stand beside kathy. so evil her. e best thing, li yuen standing on me right, kathy on me left. le ying on kathy's left. we r practicalli surrounded by idiots who thinks they r so great tt they can start reprimanding their seniors. tt they can gice so much ideas. but when dere's no teachers around to watch, not a single sound came from them .wad the! only wan attention. wad the! but thank God Ms Choo ish such a nice person to change our position such tt we dunch hab to stand with people who i realy dunch like. if i were to tell ms soo, dunch think she will care lorh, jus say 'u hav to accept people, not all the people r who u think they should b' haiz.. but ziying is beli poor thing lorh, hab to stand at the back. but i would rather stand there larhx. hahas. i flared up todae. shouted 'shut up' 'quiet' 'dunch u all understand english' but seems afterall no one actually understand wad tt means. im the SC of choir, n no one wans to listen. how pathetic can it get? even ms choo asked them to shut up, but not much responded. after a few seconds it's like a market again. haix.. wad a toopid bunch of peeps.
strawberry(: signed off at 5:25 PM
Friday, August 06, 2004
maybe even the computer doesn't wan me to complain anymore. . tt i can't publish tt post i've typed in. now tt i have to re-type.
i'll still wan to complain. i can't stand it. jus take it tt i no longer live in this world. im in a world of dreams. dreaming of all good things dere are. i no longer belong to this world. i cant blend in. im no capable to blend in. Ms Choo perhaps im e impatient one. nort u. U trusted me too much. But really thanks 4 everything tt u send me. U've been a nice friend, a nice conductor, a person i can always look 4. I visualise nothing in my life in choir. wad can i see? humiliation? anger? disappointment? hatred?
choir choir n choir almost everyday. anyone bothered about my cough. everytime i got better, dere's choir next day making the stupid cough come back again. it has been fer like almost a month. does anyone care? i know ziying would i know kathy would. who else is dere to take notice about me? i know my God would. but is there jus so little people in this world tt cares?
the three of us wasn't feeling well druing the parade. we went to the back to rest. after the whole thing, Le Ying actually came to say ' ni men shan ge shuang larh ' is like we r not feeling well, is tt suppose to be sarcastic or wad? not as if we r enjoying ourselves ok! i HATE u. think u r the first ever person i can say HATE other den tt toopid guy who is siao! i can't stand u anymore le ying. u better not make me upset another time. u will hab to pay fer it. i'll make ur life in choir miserable as long as im in choir. u better watch out. im not like this in the past. all these people like here forced me. dunch make me do it. i dunch even know wad i'll do if i were to explode. dunch try to teach me wad to do toopid juniors! i oni hab a pair of ears. not hundred pairs. n dunch think u r so great. dunch think u can do better den me. dunch try to be funny. im not going to be there to tolerate things i dunch like anymore. im jus going to show it. if i dunch show it, people won't know. they wont change. so if 1 day i were to explode. wouldn't it b worse? wonder if ms soo gonna warn the juniors n people in choir expecially matthew u r next person i wish to get rid. dunch talk back to me anymore. i wan to tear off ur mouth!
strawberry(: signed off at 9:19 PM
No one actually really cared right? Why can't i feel more concern n love from people around me. Why is it always Kathy, Ziying n even Ms Choo the only ones tt will even care? why why why? Why is it that i have to know somone like her? why? so irritating. why carnt i show attitude. why dunch people jus sack me from choir. i totally can't visualise anything in my life in choir. wad can i get from it? humiliation? anger? hatred? wad else? ? ? ? ? ? ? maybe one day i'll jus hav an unstable mental state. i'll jus go around killing people. or maybe start hurting myself. or maybe start to numb myself. or wad? Why can't Ms Choo be more hard hearted? maybe den i'll bear to leave this whole choir. Why why why she has to care so much. making me feel so touched? why is ziying n kathy in choir? why? i can't leave them oso. I dunch know wad's wrong with me. i jus can't stand it anymore. jus let me explode once n maybe i'll feel so much better.........
strawberry(: signed off at 9:19 PM
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Assembly Performance I actually conducted the whole song. Which i dint intend to in the first place. But due to over requesting, i agreed somehow. A bit regretted, cos i was so scared during the whole performance lorh. Moi heart was at me mouth! But lower sec pupils hab been nice to us larhx. They r really nice to give us a real good applause. The 14 peeps der perfoamance oso nort bad. Jus tt Yu Jian beginning a bit off larh. But we did manged to get back. Lean On Me ish okay..
N i missed all the lessons after recess todae. Tom's gonna b the same. LOLX.
Today while waitng for the A-Maths pupils, all the history pupils were waiting outside the classroom. I was at the window leaning on the wall (lazy n tired) den suddenly i felt a strong push n i was forced to the wall. Den me shoulder hit on the window glass (PAIN) den next moment, a foot was stepping hard on mi foot. N tt person was Clifford. Same foot was hurt again. think one day my right foot will jus break into two. Burt carnt blame him, the were playing n he was pushed too.
okay.. this is moi day..
strawberry(: signed off at 9:50 PM
Monday, August 02, 2004
TODAE NDP rehearsal again.. this week only wed free nehx. wad kind of life am i leading? no free.. no free.. no freedom.. carnt meet friends up. they r saying im a spoilt spot. wad the.. haiz.. okie, Ms soo can really repeat her points lorh. we understand derx.. but nvm.. haiz.. Lester super farnie todae. Made 3 mistakes. beginning, middle n end of the martial arts thing item.. so furnie lorhx..
went to two concerts this week. Acapella Fest'04 n Catholic high der concert at esplanade. Ms Choo super ke ai! lub her lub her! ziying so poor thing, hav 2 sit beside the 3 happy friends! lol.. hahaahs ok, shall turn in soon..