hmmx.. so many days hav passed, n i haven updated my blog!!
PTC's over! n mrs seah was really kind to say i'm attentive in class! ok, she mux b dreaming. hahahs.. as usual, went to church on Sunday. Saw quite a few babies n ok, i was so excited over them.. hahahs.. so ke ai!!
Had maths remedial extra lessons todae, was quite okay. but think mrs seah beli angry, we were like so so so noisy, n she has to scold us, has to teach us, has to make sure tt we know. so ke lian. but at least i not tt blur in this topic. still can make it barhx..hahas.. anyway, looking forward to emerged.. hope it will really bring N154 to a higher level of faith barhx. yea yea!
i was so reluctant in the afternoon to buy things fer my mama, (cox too tired) but i still went larhx. when i came back, suddenly something came into my mind, n i pondered over the question. "am i still at the same point?" i did do something, but i dint change my mentality, i dint face things more positively, i dint change anything. so i concluded tt im remaining at the same old point. sad.. im suppose to improve everyday, n obviously i dint. haix.. okok, shall look forward to tomorrow.. n tomorrow shall be the day i'll be happy!! okok!
strawberry(: signed off at 9:08 PM
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
FRIDAY IS MY WORSE DAY!
hahahs.. it is Parent-Teacher Conference! dots dots.. anyway, my mum is ok with my results. jus tt she says i need to improve. which i strongly agreed! haahahas..Jus hope Mrs Seah is kind enough to say more about my good attitude! hahahs.. but i have been dozing in her lessons.. hope she doesn't noe..blehx.. hohooho.. feel sho guilty, but i couldn't take it when there's two periods of maths, n is like her talking skills is fer us to slp! ahhas.. n sometimes it end of the day.. haiz.. as long as she got praise me a bit hor, i will be okay. i will survive! anyway, helped her today, hope she will remember that i'm a good gal! ahahahhahas..
Yesterday was beli beli furnie!
chinese period:
teacher came in. we greeted her. after which she said in chinese..
teacher: please pick up the papers n litters on the floor..
students: ... (silence, no one responded to her)
i was a kind person, n i'm a guai gal. i immediately stood up n picked up the litter near my table. i thought people would pick litter up, den i realise i was the only one. den nvm, i jus threw the litter away. i walked back with my tired face. i walked passed teacher's table..
teacher: wait, come over, i give u one merit point.
me: dots.. (utterly shocked)
teacher: really, come, open the merit/demerit file n flip to ur profile.
me: laughed.. huh? really ar? (i mean i was like i only picked up a litter)
teacher: laughed back: yeah, really..
i wonder when my form teacher flip thru the file some other time, wad will she think of this teacher. she's always giving people who obeyed her words merit points, on the condition that the minority is doing them. eg, like above incident, like handing up work on time..
tt's because no one hands up homework on time, except some guai people. becuase no one listens to her, no one respected her. except some larhx.. hahas..
todae:
slp slp slp.. slp whole two periods of chinese. cox teacher oso not teaching marhx. hahahs.. dunch noe go sch fer wad de. todae oso had class cleaning last two periods. ahhahas..
okok, i not bad ok, i got like 18/38 in class.. 137th in level. which is an improvement from last year. where i got like 32/39 in class.. n 192th in level. ahahahhs.. ok larh.. im bored again. but i'm now motivated to work hard now. tomolo actually dunch hav to go sch, friday oso dunch hav to! ahhahas.. but hav choir tom, n PTC on fri... anyway, go sch a while oni, better den have to go fer the whole day!.. hhahas..
ok larhx, shall end here.. bye guys.. anyway, my com is repaired, thanks to my wonderful brother, now finally blogging again.. ahhahhs
strawberry(: signed off at 8:30 PM
Saturday, May 22, 2004
like this christian worship song.. really nice to ears..
There is a longing
Only u can fill
A raging Tempest
Only u can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know u as i'm known
Drink from that river
That flows before your throne
*take me deeper
deeper in love with u
Jesus hold me close in ur embrace
take me deeper
deeper than i've ever been before
i jus wan to love u more n more
how i long to be deeper in love
sunrise to sunrise
i will seek ur face
drawn by the spirit
to the promise of ur grace
my heart has found in you
a hope that will abide
here in ur presence
forever satisfied
strawberry(: signed off at 9:10 PM
yesterday was so xin ku.. stomache all dae, from morning till after cell group. i dint bring my chem worksheet ytd n ms yip mde me write 'i will remember to bring my chemistry worksheets' 250 times! but thanks to my mighty stomache! She see me face green green, pale pale de, den say 'u dunch write le larh, since u not feeling well, u monday den hand in to me' n the rest hav to hand up by the end of the dae! ahahhx.. a blessing in disguise actually. But thank God my stomache only came back after cell group meeting is over. or i would be chased home by YanPing. N Sis Yvonne came to preach nehx! she beli nice nice de.. YanPing de mighty sister.. see her from the first min til the last, she's busy with her handphone. call here, sms dere.. foreva busy de ren, nu qiang ren! hahah. her wedding coming lerx, so happi fer her! looking forward to it! lol.. learnt a new song todae. not new to everyone though.. but to me larh.. really nice, the music n lyrics.. cool.
i had a long chat with my mum jus now. was good lorh, she reminded me how fortunate we r. n we should always thanks God fer all that we have. our parents, grandparents. if without them we wouldn't hav even computer, i wouldn't be able to study.. n without them i wouldn't be able to come into this world n experience life. yups.. so mus really treasure n honour them.. hmmx.. life is getting better fer me each day, in the sense i know how to be happy lerx. n how to forget the past things. learnt something recently. 'life everyday afresh, wad happened ytd doesn't hav any concern fer todae' so everyday is a brand new day.. wad's sad n disappointing will not affect me ler.. hope i wll always be like tt barhx.. den i will be happy! yea yea yea!
strawberry(: signed off at 4:05 PM
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
ACCOUNT OF TODAE N YTD!
todae wasn't a good dae fer me. i oso dunch noe why mood swing until beli li hai. one moment laugh until crazy person, the other moment quiet like someone died. i oso dunch noe why, as time pass by, the more sad i get. sad sad sad.. miss pauline's voice.. when would she n i go back to the past where we talk n crap n share about everything under the sun?? miss her..
jus very hurt by my mum's words. i mean, i really tried my best to revise fer my mid year ler lorh..
...in chinese...
me: mummy, i fail my geog/ss.. 30 plus oni..
mummy: u never try ur best right?
me: I did lorh.. this two subjects i spend most effort on it de lorh
mummy: u only tried half of wad u can, if u hav tried ur best, u would hav at least passed ler..
me: whole class only 3 pple pass lorh
mummy: tt's why, only the 3 tried their best..
i mean wad is tt suppose to mean. everytime, every tests n exams oso like tt. i really did revise, she say i never. say i got alot alo freedom. if so, let me go church!! she was like saying tt everytime i din get good results, i still able to go out anywhere i wan. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID SHE LET ME GO OUT?? i din go out with my friends for every long le lorh!! not tt kind of after sch go eat l
arh.. den she side track til far away. Say about the future n stuff, she really hav no faith in me de lorh, say next time i grow up, i may not even feed her. yeah yeah..
'sho true' i will love her foreva de lorh..
i love her so much, did so much things fer her nowadays.. n wad she said really hurts me lorh. Her words is like saying i have been bad mouthing her alot lorh. I DID NONE OF TT. i hav been telling the whole world MY MUM IS THE BEST, SHE IS VERY NICE!!!
really really hurts.. i know n i know wadeva she said means good, but can she stand in my shoes n think about wad she said to me. i did so much, not jus to go back to church lor, i really wanted her to feel proud of me, but i din get that kinda results... i hate myself.. i remembered i never got a praise from her b4 fer my results. i got 1st in P4. she was saying 'u can do betta de lorh.. why only get this' tt dae, i was walking home feeling so proud of myself, thinking tt i can finally hear a praise from my mum. i dint. i din blame her, thinking tt maybe i disappoint her too much. but til now.. i still din hear a single praise from her b4..
i think i'm a very lan person lorh.. in the sense my xiao dear on the verge of breaking up, falling apart, n i dint know a single thing until todae. to think she was with me encouraging me when i was down. i feel so bad.. but im not suppose to be sad, i suppose to live everyday with life. wad am i doing nehx? gonna encourage xiao dear tomolo.. hope she's getting betta with her dear..hmmx. . .
a report on my results.. [dunch b shocked]
english : 61 - B4 (ok quite good, fer me larhx)
chinese : 74 - A2 (quite happy quite sad.. 1 more mark to A1!!)
history : 70 - A2 (happy! surprsied! only distinction in class)
goeg/ss : 33 - F9 (sad sad sad.. studied most, failed most badly)
ART : 60 - B4 (quite happy~ cox i was slacking.. hahahx)
maths : 58 - C5 (extremely satisfied! failed all my tests, n i passed this!)
science : D7 - 47 (disappointed in both papers.. mus study!)
ok tt's all.. n my L1R5 would be 24.. an improvement from CA1 where i got 29 for my L1R5.. hahahs.. ok, mus work even harder.. gotta be more consistent in my work ler.
alright~ good bye, nites..
strawberry(: signed off at 9:23 PM
Monday, May 17, 2004
ok.. extremely disappointed fer moi geog results. Combined Humanities-F9! there goes.. studied the most fer these two subjects, wad did i get? hahahahax.. i din study much fer Chinese n i like A1? aahhhax.. can laugh.. wad ish the owrld going about? ok, good news fer ART, thinking tt the time period ish too long, 3hrs fer the art paper, i slacked all the way thru! thinking tt as long i can strive fer other subjects, sacrifcing this is ok. But i still got 60, hahahax, unexpected when i have such a strict teacher. hahahha.. failed moi science in total, chem:27/50 physics:20/50.. hahahahax.. not too bad the fail. hahaahha.. okok, i'm a sadist. hahahax.. still looking forward to the music awards, betta be nice..
strawberry(: signed off at 10:42 PM
Sunday, May 16, 2004
... ... ... dun noe wad to write for todae. Wasted my day i think. Did nothing much. woke up very early, but din noe wad to do. Sudden realisation tt i dun hav a goal fer the day. HAhahax.. i'm crazy, n getting crazier each day. HAhahax.. Thanks Nick fer ya prayers! *if u r reading this* certainly true friend: Nick! hahahax.. yea yea! anyway, din go church again.. sadx sia. Messaged yanping lerx, think she din receive or wadsoeva barhx. She called, jackie called. But too bad, i din check moi hp, until now..hahahahs.. okkie, i;m getting crazier. I'm actually really affected by ur leaving friends.. I may not seem to be affected but i am, the whole day, i've been thinking why why why. I couldn't come out with a proper reason. Why? Because i wasn't concer enough fer them? Perhaps barhx. Now reflection time.. hahax.. gonna think about everything now... blehx....
good night
strawberry(: signed off at 10:25 PM
Saturday, May 15, 2004
woke up at 11am. hmmx.. peace was in the house before my bro was home from army. He's getting more n more rude, n i can predict one day our family ish gonna break because of him. Nowdays, my mum talks to him, he will not answer. He's taking things for granted. He never appreciates home. I'm very sure my mum's heart really aches to see him like tt. Mother's Day, i saved money, brought things fer my mum, made her day great. N wad moi bro did was to call back n greeted my mum Happy Mothers' Day when he got back to army. N my mum was rejocing like anything. This really shows my mum dote on him more. But i'm satisfied with wad i have now. But can't my bro sense it? He shouldn't treat home like a hotel treat my mum like his maid. Wad is he doing?? i really hope to talk sense into his brain. How? God please help me. Went out with my mum after tt huge chaos at home earlier. Hmmx.. it's falling apart.. Hope to restore it. I can't do it with my own strength, fellow members, pray fer me! Thanks in advance! Bought a bag today, moi next target will be Sun's repack Album. After Nick's present is bought, i will buy her abum!
...Looking forward to the talentime show at Catholic end of this month...
strawberry(: signed off at 8:57 PM
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Wowo!! listening's over n this is the mark of the end of examinations! wahahhahax.. okok, went to help matheus in his literature play. Aren't i a good friend? hahaax.. went to his school at catholic high, n everyone was like treating me n ashley like we r from other planets. ahahax.. but matheus was quite irritating at times.. blehx.. hahahhx.. thank God i met WeiSheng, n he accompained me n ashley, or we'll be bored n irritated to death! whaahhax.. Saw Alvin in CHS todae.. hahahaa, tallie guy. Makes me feel sho short.. blehx.. Anyway, learnt to treasure each n every day. Nicholas n Martin was really fun todae lorh, finally saw them making much noise lerx.. hahaahx. N Clavin, if u happen to see this post, thanks thANKs thanks fer the video. hahahx.. that's all fols, good nite! Tomorrow shall be a happy dae, cell group!
strawberry(: signed off at 11:11 PM
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
hahahahx.. todae last writing paper, left oni art paper tomolo. wow.. sho happy.. hahahahahx.. hav been a little slack thru. but i got work very hard fer all the paper de.. except fer physics, which i really dnch noe how to study. hahhahx.. no one can help me, fer i dunch noe almost everything. wahhaahhahx.. geography oso another subject, which i have been attendind lesson, but dunch noe a single thing wad teacher ish teaching. can't hear anything, but i studied yesterday everything last minute at 9! and because of tt, i missed moi favourite show, i'm suppose to watch the repeat at 1pm todae, but i totally forgotten!! blehx! there goes.. it's an importAnt eipsode.. really.. sho exciting now. hmmmx.. hope pauline ish betta now. anyway.. people out dere, live ur everyday fruitfully.. no complaints from me again..i'm an angel u see... hahaahax.. gonna enjoy the rest of moi day.. hahhhhax..
strawberry(: signed off at 2:01 PM
Monday, May 10, 2004
hmmx... two more papers, and dere goes exams!! bye bye!! hahahx.. tomolo ish geog, n i dunch noe a single thing ! hahax.. dunch noe wad teacher ish teaching, thou she's a beli nice teacher! *die die die* hahahx... finally back into the internet.. connection was down fer no reason fer the past few days! mummy enjoyed herself beli much ytd nehx! cos i'm sho sweet looking..hahah *lame* okok, went seoul garden ytd fer dinner.. lub the ice cream the most narhx.. 3 big scoops! heheex..
i'm getting fatter.. service was good ytd! hmmx... oni Eugene n HaoRen went fer ytd de service. Was good! realy good! Hahahx.. think now bro danny knows wad to do fer sis shumei lerx! hahahahx! they are sho furnie! was jus sitting in front of dem, whole row of chcc workers behind us... hahhahx.. sho furnie! ok larhx.. nothing to crap lerx, lub moi life..tt's all...
strawberry(: signed off at 5:43 PM
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
wwooo.. todae ish such a nice nice dae. At least the weather ish barhs. Woke up at 7 plus, went back to sleep, woke up again at nine.. den finally step out of moi room.. went to buy newspaper fer daddy.. den went back to sleep again. *too bored* den eleven lerx, wake up lerx, watch tebe.. wating fer the repeat of moi fav show. ahahax.. dench, eat eat. . den slack a bit. wanted to revise de, burt, see books wan to faint lerx. the more i revise the more nervous i'll get. *why* n becoz i dunch wanna faint, i'm here... sianx.. wad's gonna happen the rest of the day nehx? i wonder much too. well, look forward to catholic high's music awards.. see wad 'good' stuff they can produce barhx.. hahhahax.. i'm too bored a person, anything tt can make me luff i'll jump over the moon. Congras to wei sheng, fer ur goodie results.. (if u ever read this) i'm missing Charlotte more n more lerx.. ahhaahhax.. getting crazy more n more each day..
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strawberry(: signed off at 2:06 PM
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
haben been faithful in moi updating.. hahahas.. really busy revising moi work. Exams exam and exam running thru moi brains every single min. Can i like get rid of it fer jus one min??? Todae had moi social studies!! Catholics, prstestants, sinhalese, indian tamils, lee kuan yew, merger... wadeva.. And can u imagine the whole of question 1c, i din touch a word at all! 6 marks gone without any effort! was thinking moi geog ish cannot make it de, thot ss would help, but.. stupid me.. hate myself. been studying sho hard, but no one sees this effort. What's the point. hmmx.. i'm gonna make sure i pass moi geog n it really improves! i wan to go back to church. i need to improve moi marks... help me!!! hoping tt someone can make me loss all moi memory n i start moi life again. I have never study this hard before.. I give a miss to moi tv prgorammes, which i have never done tt b4. everyday 5-7 hours of studying lehs! wad more can i do. But moi brains jus dunch seems to work. jus hoping some people will jus give mi a call so that i can i can giv myself a short break. i dunch noe wad i wan. I jus know i wan moi freedom.. i like the i am now, God please, never take anyone away from me.. never... haiya.. jus hang on.. i will make it thru..